Secret Smile
by Sunrays and Saturdays
Summary: Short story: Sara walks into Grissom's office to find him peacefully sleeping behind his desk, and has an opportunity to do something she might never be able to do again. (finished, reviews are appreciated :) ).


**A/N: This story has nothing to do with my previous fanfics. It's basically stand alone. Thanks to Wishing on the Moon for the wonderful (and I must say speedy) beta. (Where would I be without you, Heather?)**

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**Secret Smile**

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Sara Sidle paused in the doorway of Gil Grissom's office, waiting for him to look up and acknowledge her presence.

A portable radio on top of his file cabinet filled the office with the sound of a melancholy classical piece for strings and wind instruments. Grissom was seated at his desk, a pen poised loosely in his right hand. Left elbow resting on the top of the desk, his cheek was propped in his open hand. His eyes were closed lightly, his mouth hanging ever so slightly open; he seemed spellbound by the music.

"Grissom?" Sara asked. She took one step into the office, expecting him to raise his head, open his eyes and realize she was there.

He did no such thing. He remained quiet, unmoving, eyes still lightly closed.

She spoke, a little louder this time. "Grissom…?"

_He's sleeping, _she realized and she reached behind her to pull the door until she heard the quiet click of the latch.

Sara stood watching him for several moments, expecting him to feel the weight of her stare, that it might rouse him from his light slumber.

She'd come to bring him some important lab results and she hugged the folder to her chest, remaining transfixed. A strange rush of emotion overtook her, a bittersweet pulling at her heart to see him sleeping so peacefully right there at his desk.

With a sigh, she crossed the room slowly and quietly placed the folder down on the pile of paperwork already overflowing his 'in' tray. He'd notice it when he woke up, she decided. She turned to leave, getting halfway across the room before feeling the emotional tug that caused her to turn again.

Sara had to see him just once more like this, to try and burn it into her memory as one of those rare times she'd seen him not stoic, not putting on a calm façade. It was strange how completely vulnerable he seemed.

_Should I wake him? If Ecklie catches him sleeping on the job, there'll be hell to pay, _Sara thought suddenly concerned. She moved over and put her hand on his shoulder to very tenderly shake him.

"Grissom…"

Grissom remained asleep. His mouth twitched a little at the corner; his posture slumped a little more as his elbow slid forward, his face falling lower in his hand.

_He's exhausted_. She'd never seen Grissom fall asleep in all her time working with him. She felt privy to something special, felt as if she were seeing something extraordinary.

Trying another gentle shake only caused him to slide further forward on the desk, cheek twitching, but he did not wake. His glasses tipped down his nose. Sara felt they might perhaps fall off, and she stepped behind him, reaching around to take them off, her fingers caressing his bearded cheeks as she removed them. She folded the legs neatly and placed them out of harms way.

He did not even stir at her touch. Sara chewed her lip, imagining. If he'd been awake he would have flinched, pulled away, looking at her as if to ask her what she was doing. She could picture the suspicious and almost scared expression in those deep blue eyes of his.

She had to touch him again; it was an opportunity she might never have again. No one could see her; the blinds in the glass windows of his office were closed and they were hidden behind them. She couldn't see out and was sure no one could see in.

Tenderly, with no timidity whatsoever, she touched his bearded cheek with the backs of her fingers, shivering inwardly at the sensations of the bristles against her flesh.

Touching him this way without his consent was wrong; she knew in her very soul it was wrong, but in her heart it felt more than right. She smiled secretly to herself as she let her fingers slide up his temple and caress the waves of his silvering hair. It left her feeling charged, and somewhat wicked. Feeling bolder, she traced a line down his forehead with one finger, let it continue a path down his smooth perfect nose, across his moustache, and then to his soft lips. His bottom lip dragged slightly under her finger until she took her hand away.

She kissed the tip of her finger and pressed it to his mouth, the warm of a half-smile on her face tempered by the anguish she felt, believing it was the closest thing to a kiss the two of them would ever share.

And the fact was…he'd never even know it.

She felt a sudden sadness that he would never know how much this intimate moment meant to her, to think he would never know the bittersweet aches she felt from something as simple as touching him tenderly on the face.

"Sleep tight, Griss," she whispered with a soft sigh. Sara switched off the radio and the office fell into a comfortable, thick silence. She headed for the door and took one last look over her shoulder at him, still sleeping so completely peacefully, and at the room that would never again be 'just Grissom's office.' After a long moment, she left, quietly closing the door behind her.

Gil Grissom cracked an eye open, and a wistful smile tugged at his lips. Safely hidden behind the walls, door and closed blinds of his office, he wouldn't be seen by anyone passing by. He wouldn't be seen by _her._

He picked up his glasses, put them on and looked around the room, seeing it with new eyes. Aside from a new folder atop his 'in' tray, it was exactly the same but at the same time, it was completely different. Sara had given him something here; a few simple touches that would be cherished because he believed they were all the two of them would ever share.

And the fact was…she'd never even know it.

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**End**

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_Big hi to everyone at YTDAW - and thanks to the one who recommended my other stories in the "recommended fanfics" thread (that really made my day to see I was in there again)._

_Hugest thanks to my beta, Wishing on the Moon for the special little touches she added to this story. :)_


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